How loud does Berg yell “Sparta!”?…

Berg catches an advance screening…

I enjoy a lot of different kinds of movies. But the single common thread among them is that they all have characters i care about. Although i am all for stylistic EyeFucks, i suppose i need something more. All i ask for is one…just at least one character to get behind. So when they are eventually faced with thousands of charging opponents, i could slide to the edge of my seat….so i am not able to wait to see what i’m about to see. So i can yell, Sparta!!!!!!

Sadly, not one of the 300 gave me this. It’s not like i hated them. No no no. It’s just that i was never given anything to emotionally get behind. And so, when they’re on the battlefield…although one part of my mind was in disbelief of how good it looked (considering this only being Snyder’s second effort), the other half was thinking about what time it was. And what i could eat after it. And how glad i was that it was under two hours. And how Borat comes out on DVD tomorrow. And if i should kill an hour or so at Virgin after the sceening to get it at midnight. And then remembering Best Buy’s Borat DVD comes with a t-shirt. Not that i really would wear a Borat shirt. But it’s always nice to get a free t-shirt. And how you can never have enough undershirts. And then, occasionally, appreciating how cool it all looked again. And wishing how the hunchback character was cooler. He could have been so cool. I love characters like him. Usually.

So yeah, put 300 in that category of films that are like beautiful models. Not as stimulating on the inside as out.

In closing, i am most reminded of Jay Johnston looking at Sarah Silverman’s drawing on the premiere of her “Program”…

“300?” Johnston asks.

“Turn it sideways,” Sarah answers.

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