Not As Much As I’d Have Liked
I’m not in the mood to write lengthy BergViews anymore. But i still want to tell you when i see stuff and what i thought. I need a new system. So for now, what i’ll do is keep my Dots or no Dots which i’ve been doing since 1985, but i’ll have 7 categories:
5 Dots. True Awe = Movies that are not just movies, but ways of life. The last two in this category were Sweeney and Enchanted.
4 Dots. Awesome = Awesome experiences and films that will becomes part of my collection for sure. These are films like Hot Fuzz, Beowulf, Blades of Glory, Planet Terror, etc.
3 Dots. Yay! = Movies i’m so glad to have seen, but ones that i wont rush to add to my collection, although i loved them while i was there on opening night. Oceans 13 is a recent example of one of these.
2 Dots. Good, But… = Movies i’m glad i saw but will most likely never watch again. Magorium is a good example of one of these.
1 Dot. These are typically no dot films, but, for one reason or another..usually becuase i WANT to like them more, they will land in this category. These are films like Live Free or Die Hard…Black Sheep….films on the brink of no-dotness.
No Dot. Bad wastes of time. Ghost Rider would fit nicely here.
FuckCocksters = Juno.
Anyway, that said,
Jumper = 2 Dots.
Spiderwick = 1 Dot.
Also on Spiderwick, i just wanna say that this film proves my hatred of someone. There is an actor that i find totally off-putting. I hate everything he’s ever done and find no acceptable reason why he should be having any success. Anyway, there is a goblin character in Spiderwick which i really did not like. And i hated the voice work so much. I had no idea- but then, while seeing his credit, it all made sense. Of course it was Seth Rogan. Of course. Why wouldn’t it be? Ugggg.
Spiderwick should have been so much better.
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OpenCritic
Counting FuckCocksters, that’s only six categories. Do NOT deny me my extra category of Bergness!!!
Haven’t seen either. Intend to see Jumper, if nothing more interesting is happening at any given time.
I did see I Could Never Be Your Woman, the Amy Heckerling/Michelle Pfeiffer thing that went straight to DVD. I have an uncontrollable burning love for anything Pfeiffer that will never die. She is truly my goddess.
Movie was meh. Well intentioned, light hearted and warm, but never added up to anything. Sum was more than the parts, but the parts were cliche at best and banal at worst.
Wow, that much hate for Rogan? BTW, I find it unfair that Black Sheep is merely a 1 dot. I realize this is YOUR rating system, but just because a director or writer took a movie in a different direction, shouldn’t make it bad. In the words of Sewell, “it’s just different.”
I do this all the time too, whenever a movie goes down a path that I wouldn’t have taken it down, I find myself liking it less but have to realize, they have a story to tell. If that path sucks, well that’s different, but in the case of the Sheep, it wasn’t that the path sucked; we just wanted it to be funnier and more off-the-wall. That said, if you were to go back and watch certain scenes, I mean, c’mon, there’s some good stuff in there that should be on par with the fuckin’ Magorium! That I find hard to handle!
Wait – am i nuts? i count seven? Ah who knows. I prob will forger about this sysyem by the time Harol & Kumar comes out.
Also – Eros, Magorium had a little magic to it! You shouldn’t count it out ! i hear what youre saying and i agree….BUT…the bottom line is – i would own magorium on DVD before Black Sheep. But i would own neither on BluRay!