TMNT CRAP

Had a very disappointing Sunday this past weekend. After seeing the teaser for Weinstein’s upcoming CG re-imagining of the Turtles, I was fairly excited to see their big screen reappearance. Unfortunately, the heroes in a half-shell deliver a half-baked movie. I’m a fan of the first live action flick, I thought it had a solid balance between trtl power and action. A TMNT flick without the one-liners is not a TMNT flick… And to me, this latest outing had neither the fun nor the frenzy of turtles past.

Yes, with CG comes great power, but there also should be some responsibility towards using it right, to help guide a story or showcase situations only dreamed.  And TMNT has some of that: a storyline spread over 3,000 years, lots of loose albeit uninspired monsters, and a skateboarding sewer pipe sequence that’s everything Turtle.  But what it never successfully offers is a humorous or adult exchange for those sitting through it.  The jokes are too far and few between and the action relatively sparse, choosing to spend more time with an awkwardly voiced Splinter (Mako just can’t hold a candle to the live action voice) and the brothers, then TMNT V Anything.

I did appreciate the Pitch Black-esque music, and remain convinced that a more adult-friendly CG flick could have a huge impact… But for now, we’ve got a slew of kiddie movies to wade through, and TMNT is Saturday Morning stretched out to an hour and a half too long.