The Groomsmen Review

by Bake Snaker December 14, 2006

Got this DVD from Eros Welker….jesus lord do I regret it…I wanted to see this because I consider Ed Burns the luckiest man in film…I can’t understand how he keeps getting money for his films..I mean..this was a BOMB…BOMB!! How can this film possibly make it money back? I had to see it out of pure fascination of the failing upward phenomenon.

I know I’m a self-hating Caucasian but eckkkk…this film is so….WHITE!!! And I’m totally aware that I made a film about white boys in the suburbs… but at least I was aware that the bunch of characters in my film are unappealing. Burns loves himself, his self-important, uninteresting dialogue about relationships, and his white-washed world.

There is even a somewhat offensive line where Donal Logue, the only good thing in this film, is talking to Burns about how he can’t have kids. Burns tells him that in a year, he will adopt a kid and be happy. Donal says in a sarcastic way..”so my Chinese and Romanian kids can play with your kid.” That gives insight in to Burns’ mentality if you ask me.

He even throws in the “coming out of the closet” buddy played by John Leguizamo who just could not bring himself to playing gay. Have you ever seen a straight actor who can’t do the gay thing…it’s just embarrassing. And I’m sure Leguizamo is talented enough to pull it off…it’s just that he didn’t want to put in the effort for this piece of crap.

Jay Mohr can be funny …but he is NOT funny in this film. However, the crew thought he was a laugh riot because they devote two extras on the DVD to him.

“Any asshole can get a girl pregnant…but to be a dad..a true dad…not many guys can do that.” He actually rips off the shittiest line from Parenthood and makes it even cheesier.

Oh, and Burns gets edgy in this film…that’s right…he uses the F word sometimes…real edgy. There is a strip club scene where all the girls are clothed….nuff said.