Raging Boll


From Nmancer, who often sends me juicy headlines…

Seems that challenge Uwe Boll gave to critics to fight him in a boxing ring was legitimate. He went several rounds with a bunch of critics and ended each bout with a KO. (see full story below)

I’d like this guy if his movies weren’t such complete, utter shit. Though I must say I did like Bloodrayne for all the wrong reasons. Sure, he took a worthy franchise potential and turned it into straight-to-video, soft-core crap. But then again, I grew up on soft-core crap, so I kinda liked how the movie made me feel like I was twelve and staying up late to watch Cinemax after dark. That plus Michael Madsen too wasted to say his lines made it a guilty pleasure.

But seriously, check out the full story, taken from the AP wire —

Tired of the criticism of his
films, controversial German film director Uwe Boll took on four of his
critics in a Vancouver boxing ring, and ended each bout with a knockout.

The director of the vampire flick “BloodRayne,” based on a video game
and starring Kristanna Loken and Ben Kingsley, issued a fight challenge
to his critics several months ago. Fifteen responded.

“I like now the critics,” Boll told a news conference after the fights
on Saturday. “Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived.

“If they write about my movies without even seeing the movies then it’s
really annoying. If you make a movie like ‘House of the Dead,’ a zombie
movie, what are they expecting? ‘Schindler’s List’?”

First in the ring with the director — now dubbed “Raging” Boll — was
Richard Kyanka of Lee’s Summit, Missouri, webmaster of
http://www.somethingawful.com. He entered the ring clad in Stars and Stripes

“You are harboring a terrorist,” he said of Boll to the Canadian crowd
of about 600. “You are all guilty.” Boll, grim-faced, KO’d him in the
first round.

Jeff Sneider of Los Angeles, a journalist with Ain’t It Cool News, went
down in a technical knockout in the first round after his trainer threw
in the towel.

He said Boll, 41, had told him it was just a joke, a public relations

“Then he started beating the crap out of my head,” he said. “I think
he’s a jerk. This might be PR but I don’t want to keep getting punched
in the head.”

Chris Alexander of Toronto, Ontario, a horror-move journalist with Rue
Morgue radio and magazine, also went down in a knockout, but not before
making an artistic statement.

While on the receiving end of a series of blows to the head, Alexander
took Boll aback when a stream of blood spewed from his mouth. It turned
out Alexander had taken a page from Boll’s filmmaking book; the blood
was fake.

“I had the fake blood in reserve,” he explained.

“I spat it out. I freaked him out exactly like I wanted to do, it was
poetry. It was my Jedi mind trick to try and disorient him.”

He said he got in a punch for each of Boll’s bad films. “I think I got
him once in the face for ‘Alone in the Dark’ and I got maybe one or two
for ‘BloodRayne.’ ” he said. ” I have absolutely no … regrets. …
This is the weirdest pop culture bizarre journalism stunt I’ve ever been
involved in.”

Nelson Chance Mintner, a web site critic from Frederick, Maryland, was
the youngest fighter at 17. He also lost by technical knockout.

Actress Loken was in the audience for the bouts. “It’s absolutely
ridiculous. That’s why I love him,” she said.

Boll’s next picture is “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.”

Like “BloodRayne,” it’s also based on a video game. It features Loken
again as well as Jason Statham, John Rhys-Davies, Ray Liotta, Matthew
Lillard, Leelee Sobieski, Claire Forlani and Burt Reynolds.

2 Responses

  1. junky says:

    What a douche:

    1) There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience.

    Anyway, when Uwe was sparring with the dude, the critic / amateur had to quit sparring because Uwe “was taking it too seriously” and really trying to beat the shit out of the guy. So he just said fuck it and left.

    2) Apparently when we were in another room, Uwe declared he was going to beat the crap out of all of us and try to “win by knockout.” You know, like kinda the OPPOSITE of “this is all a PR stunt we will have fun my movies don’t suck” that he was saying before.

    3) Like I mentioned before, Uwe said we would get training, boxing equipment, and lessons beforehand. None of us received any of this, which didn’t quite worry us at the time since he kept saying it was just a PR stunt and he wasn’t really going to box for real for serious blah blah blah. NEVER trust a German. Three of the guys didn’t even have cups to protect their balls; the only reason I had a cup was because my wife bought me one.

    4) The dude after me was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained.

    Regardless, I don’t regret anything and think it was a real learning experience. For example, I learned Uwe Boll is a lying dickhead who makes shitbag films, and he deserves all the shit he gets from folks on the Internet. I’ll write an update about all this when I get back, but I’m trying to put the most major things here so I do not forget them.

    OH and the high point of the day was when I met DAVID FUCKING CROSS and hugged him and gave him a “Doom House” DVD. That was fucking awesome and made the whole Uwe Boll fiasco worth it.