More Than Meets Despise

A few weeks back i bought an Optimus Prime and, when i opened the box and began transforming him, he broke. That’s what happens with the movie, too.

I could never be a film critic. If I was, I’d have to sit here and try to sum up all the reasons why this film made my stomach turn. I’m not gonna do that. I just sat through it and I’m not going to force myself to relive it. It’s over, it happened and I’m not looking back. I’m just really sad. It seriously bummed me out. I never knew I could hate a film on so many levels. And please keep in mind that, with the exception of Pearl Harbor, I enjoy the Bay. Yes, even The Island.

Going in, I expected to enjoy the autobot on decepticon set pieces if nothing else. But I was denied even that by ass hole kids with horrible line readings and other various characters that borderline parody. Seriously, there are performances in some of the worst of the worst sci-fi channel originals that are better than ones in this film. Stupid, boring, obnoxious and played to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

I returned my Optimus Prime and got a new one. He’s sitting on the shelf right in front of me. And now, after tonight, I want to twist him apart and break him again. Like he broke me.