Ok. Here we go. It is impossible to return from the experience that is Spider-Man 3 and merely write it off with an italicized “i loved it” or a simple “that sucked.” There is far, far, far too, too, too much going on here…


Ok. Here we go.
It is impossible to return from the experience that is Spider-Man 3 and merely write it off with an italicized “i loved it” or a simple “that sucked.” There is far, far, far too, too, too much going on here. Raimi spins a two and a half hour thematic juggling act performing some really nifty tricks while dropping some of his balls as well.

I have never seen a film attempt to accomplish SO much. And, for much of it all, it does indeed accomplish what it sets out to. But still, with this much of a cavalcade of nonstop villain-on-hero-on-hero-on-another-villain overload…the film puts itself in jeopardy of imploding in on itself. I mean, there is just so much going on here, i really don’t know where to even begin. So let me just be random….

Seriously, don’t read this until you’ve seen it.

I love big summer sequels. And i love nothing more than when OCD-esque care has gone into bringing back every little bit part that made its predecessor so fun. And this is what i love most about Spidey 3. Everyone is back. And most of these bit players get even more scenes to steal this time around. I was so happy when my favorite character, played by Mageina Tovah of 2 returned. I had no idea she would and it almost made the movie for me. She is great and i really wish Peter would realize he is much better suited with her instead of ol’ SnaggleTooth (who, by the way, does not go well with the Imax format, as don’t Bryce’s new child-rearing hips. Yikes).

Just as the first film shined in the fun of seeing Peter discover his newfound abilities, this film is at its best when Peter is consumed by the Symbiote. The anger, rage and conceited confidence make for some of my personal favorite Peter Parker moments of the trilogy.

And, although it gets convoluted to be sure, i am impressed at how The Brothers Raimi, Sam & Ivan, consistently figure out ways to “up the game” and intermingle all these different characters and themes within one another. I’m always a sucker for BTTF2-esque chances to go back inside a previous film and discover things from different angles. The way they explained what really happened the night Peter’s uncle died worked for me. This is something i was ready to find annoying when i walked in.

Now, having said all that, there are two big surprises…

As you know, i was very disappointed Sam and Danny were never able to “work things out” as Raimi promised the San Diego crowd last July. On the positive side, Raimi was smart enough to not go the Batman Forever route and have Christopher Young attempt to invent a new Spidey theme. Instead, he does what Ottman did for Supes…redoing the preexisting themes. However – unlike Ottman, who also bought his own unique musical motifs to that film (such as the cool new Lex theme)…Young brings nothing all that noticeably new to the table. It’s all rehashed pre-existing Elfman from the first two films… and while that is still better than something different and new, since it allows the film to FEEL like a Spidey film… it would have also been nice to have a new theme to chew on or two. I could only imagine what Elfman would have devised as a Venom motif. The only new one that had any effect on me was what is heard during the Sandman origin scene. That sequence, early in the film, is perhaps one of the only times the film stops for a moment to breath — and the result is a hauntingly beautiful moment carried only by the score. I wish there were more like it.

The real big surprise of the night, for me — was that i didn’t really like Venom all that much. I mean — i don’t hate him, ok — here’s the thing…bottom line — the fact that we know Venom is Topher is fine…i guess…we’ve all had a year to adjust to that…but Raimi should have had the discipline to avoid the urge to keep showing his damn face so many times after he completes his transformation. People wanna see Venom. They have been waiting and waiting and waiting to Venom. Not to see a second here and a second there in between Topher peeking his tophery little head out every other second. I know Raimi didn’t even want to include the character, as he is more of an old school Spidey comic fan. But come on. If you’ve got him in there…give us what we want. All-out squealing, hissing, screaming, tongue-stickin’ out-Venom-on-Spidey madness. I don’t know who i was more annoyed at, the couple talking though the whole film in front of me or Topher talking through the whole battle. You can really feel Sam’s disinterest in these scenes. They lack the weight that Spidey had with Doc Ock or even with the Sandman for that matter.

Sandman is actually kind of a cool character…it’s just that, perhaps if the movie eliminated either Venom or Sandman and just left it at Harry and one other…more attention could have been given to create the kind of dynamic that made Dr. Octavious such a classic.

Going into this movie is like going into a theme park and trying to do every single little thing that there is to do inside of it all in one day. It can be done, sure — and you’ll have fun on a lot of its rides…but the only way you’re gonna do it is to rush around the whole day like a madman and not leave anytime to really appreciate any of it. That’s what i feel like right now. I got it done — but what the hell did i even do?

I’ll go back in non-imax at the Ziegfeld in DLP after a few hours of sleep and try to figure that out…

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  1. Roger says:

    I have no intention of seeing this movie, and since we are firmly in spoiler territory, could please confirm these spoilers I read months ago?

    – Did Sandman kill Peter’s uncle?

    – Does Osborn die?

    – Does Mary Jane die?

  2. Cybergosh says:

    Oh come on, you’re not seeing it at all?

    I forgot, you weren’t a fan of 2?

  3. Junktape says:

    You are such a fanboy (and I sat that as a well-intentioned taunt). 

    I love that you cleary write with such bitterness about not even wanting to see it but you’re also pining to know what happens.


    I wasn’t gonna say, but if you’re really not gonna see it…

    MJ fucking dies.  It was a harsh decision, I never thought they would stick to it – but holy shit.  It kind of makes up for them having skipped over introducing Gwen Stacy in the first movie.

    Makes it even worse that she is awful in this movie and her death means absolutely nothing.  If she’d died in the second movie it would have been tears.  But now they blew it.

  4. Cybergosh says:

    I also need to add this:

    WORST SCENE of the entire film, by far, is the lame scene with Harry and his Butler at the end.  Why do we need this?  WHY DO WE FUCKING NEED THIS IN HERE?  There is no need for the butler to give the “clearance” to Harry to make it”okay” for him to be pals with Peter again.  It is the equivalent of Han leaving and then encountering Boba, who informs him Jabba that Jabba has dropped his debt – allowing him to THEN go back and save the day.  It’s just lame for Harry to need this to go back and help Peter.  He should do it solely on the strength of their friendship and trust.  Isn’t that what the whole damn thing is leading up to???!!!!  Peter should ask for his help and be denied.  Then, when he Harry shows up it would be more of a crowd-pleasing moment because some may not have been expecting it.  As is, you are waiting for it.  This is the worst decision of the entire film.

  5. Roger says:

    Haha, I admit it, it is a classic bit of fanboy retartosity (look it up, it is a real word), but you might be surprised to know that I didn’t even see the second movie because I disliked the first so much.

    I was really only interested in a detached sort of way, like who seemed to win the debates last night. I wouldn’t actually spend time watching it, of course, but I’d like the Reader’s Digest version so I’m up to date.

  6. Junktape says:

    See two – it was fun.  Worth renting.  Spidey 3 was piss poor story wise.  But the effects are literally the best comic book sequences I’ve ever seen on the silver screen, if that means anything

  7. Cybergosh says:

    “piss poor” story-wise?

    You’re letting some very bad moments and lousy creative decissions effect the whole far too much.  You should see this again.  It is not piss poor and it is NOT like X men 3 – please do not compare it to that terrible thing.

  8. Junky says:

    “You’re letting some very bad moments and lousy creative decissions effect the whole far too much”

    Wow, I guess you’d make a great studio exec.

  9. Cybergosh says:

    If anyone is keeping score at home of the EG Spidey 3 Opinions…

    I believe it is safe to say…

    from who liked it most to least…

    1. Eros

    2. Alathal

    3. Cybergosh

    4. Fat Ass

    5. Junktape

    What of MDhuff?  What of Burnt?  And do Bake and Lekker Ding care? 

    Who else?  Stay tuned to all EG’s Comment sections for more!…

  10. junky says:

    Huff is outta town hope he sees all this!