Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things

When I was around 7 years old, my aunt and uncle were baby-sitting my
sister and I… there was a late night horror movie playing on one of
the local NY stations… I remember being very disturbed by the images…in the years since, I thought I had
seen every zombie film ever made…yet never saw those images
again…and for 20 years I have been unable to figure out what film I
saw that night!!!

All I remember is a bunch of bad teenagers (teenagers are the eptimoe
of “bad” when you’re young) dig up a corpse and end up causing the
dead to rise and kill everyone. That was basically what I could
recall. And there was a final image that has stuck with me for 20
years… the zombies, after having killed everyone, get on a boat
headed for the mainland.

Well, thank god for podcasts because someone mentioned this scene
recently. I realized that Bob Clark’s “Children Shouldn’t Play with
Dead Things” is one of those horror films that I never got around to
seeing…and lo and behold…I rent it and yup..that’s the one. And
suprisingly enough, those images I remember were pretty acturate.

Now, unfortunatly…it sucks. I don’t care what anyone says about
this being a classic horror film…this is nothing but a “Night of the
Living Dead” knock-off. And has nothing on Romero’s classic. Bob
Clark must have lent his soul to the devil to make “A Christmas
Story.” Because everything he made before and after sucks zombie
penis.

Horrendous acting.
Student film lighting…just blasting light on the subjects.
And horrible make-up.

Cool sound design though. That is probably what affected me as a kid.
No reason to see this… except…again the zeitgeist is a strange
thing. Bob is remaking this film next year.

(OKAY…sorry Bob, I was in a pissy mood when I wrote the above. Actually I should point out that Bob Clark made Porky’s and Black Christmas, two decent films that are two of the MOST INFLUENTIAL FILMS OF ALL TIME!!! I know what you’re thinking…Black Christmas? Influential? Yes, it was released three years prior to Halloween and completely set up the style and look of the slasher film. No joke… read up on it…and rent Black Christmas..I will review soon.)

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