The Most Lovable Creature Since…?

…Unfortunately, since CB4. Well, Okay – that’s not true. To be fair, the actual creature CJ7 is extremely awesome. The movie itself is the big problem here…


The first half hour of this, i was thinking i would come home and type that this was the best movie of the year so far. All the set up was great. The film was doing everything right. Creating characters that i really cared about and was interested in seeing where they’d go from there once the little creature showed up. And that’s where the movie goes awry. NOT because CJ is annoying. No No No. He is everything you want him to be. It’s just that these characters all act so juvenile, dumb and downright nasty to the poor little guy…without reason – just for lowest common denominator Steven Chow type Hong Kongy cartoony laughs…it was impossible not to tune out. Which is really sad because there are fleeting moments of magic…but then again, intercut with nonsense. And it’s all there. Everything is set up in that first act for this to play out as a magical 80’s style awesome with an eastern twist. What a fucking let down. This could have been the new Mac and Me but instead just winds up being the next Supersize Me, which is to say, very Spurlocky. This awesome little alien deserves a better movie.

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No Responses to “The Most Lovable Creature Since…?”

  1. Shanty Irish says:

    If you thought ET was good, but wished there were more scenes of Elliot spitefully shoving ET’s head in the toilet, or if in The Last Mimzy you kept wondering why the kids didn’t rip Mimzy limb from limb to make her talk, then I think you’re the type of person to really enjoy CJ7.

    I know over the top cartoon violence is a Hong Kong cinema staple, but seeing it perpetrated on a cute furry happy little creature was for me vile and just plain ugly.  As was making an abused stray cut up dog a villain.  Look, I know China doesn’t have the best track record with human rights, much less animals, but this was just ignorant and mean spirited.  Speaking of humans, they didn’t fair too well either.  The lead kid narrowly avoided being whipped with a hanger covered in newspaper (played for laughs) when he/she acted up.  The lonely fat girl was introduced so we’d pity her, but director Stephen Chow couldn’t resist having the camera shake when she ran away from being taunted.  She’s fat!  Get it?  Its really too bad, there was so much promise, I wish I could take out the middle and keep the first and last half hour. 

    I call bullshit on the Nobility of Poverty theme too.  Way to pander to the intended audience.  Trust me poor people, Stephen Chow is not your Michael Moore of Sci-fi comedies, save your $11.75, I’m thinking you probably have better things to spend it on, being well, poor and all. 

    I’m have to email ain’t it cool news now, they called it a “wonderpiece” and said it was indeed “pretty cool.” Since I didn’t find it so, I’m going to ask them to refund my money.

  2. bake snaker says:

    someday I’ll make my little creature film.. and you will be quite satisfied Cybergosh.. I guarantee it.

  3. Eros Welker says:

    Guess I’ll download it instead… I’m missing too many movies lately, this is bad.  Please tell me we’ll see Doomsday together (c’mon, it’s Neil Marshall, he rules even though this movie looks off)!

  4. bake snaker says:

    I really want to see Doomsday… lemme know when

  5. Eros Welker says:

    Friday night?  Or worst case, a Saturday or Sunday morning (to catch a matinee priced-show)?  I really, really loved The Descent, and on second viewing, dug Dog Soldiers a lot more too.

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