The Pissed

I realize now that I really have no allegiance to Frank Darabont. I’m not sure why I thought it was a good thing when he was attached to Indiana Jones. Sure, the Shawshank Redemption was wonderful, but the rest of it is kinda trashy (and I do love The Blob).

Yet, walking into The Mist, I thought I’d be seeing another Stephen King tale told competently by someone skilled, and instead, I got 2 hours of soupy shit.


The short story, from Skeleton Crew I believe, was one of my favorites and one I should go back and re-read. I’ve imagined it as a film many a time, and when it actually happened, I was excited. It wasn’t just monsters in the mist that I liked, but the psychology of it all. People trapped in a supermarket, under siege, and losing their wits as they fight for their survival, mostly from each other. What’s not to like?

There’s a scene in the movie where some of the characters share that sentiment; how people will lose themselves and do the wrong things when they get scared. Fear has a way of undoing the mind. But the big problem with The Mist is, YOU are never scared. You never are worried about what lurks in it, who’s gonna buy it, what that thing is you just saw, etc. I don’t know why this is, but there is not a lick of tension in a film that’s supposed to be brimming to the hilt with it! Worse, Darabont works against the shitty film he made by fading in and out to cap off scenes, as if The Mist was meant as a TV mini-series on NBC. The music is horrible, what little there is to evoke any kind of mood, and at the close, there’s this awful operatic crying to help extenuate some moment that you really could give a shit about.

I don’t remember the story perfectly, but being King, I know there was a religious angle. For those that know me, you know I hate Marcia Gay Harden; I find her repulsive. Dress her up as a religious zealot, and I’m in my own personal Hell. Have her saying most of the dialog in a film called The Mist about God and the righteous and sacrifice, etc., and you know I wished for death. Despite me thinking she is wretched, she pulled off the part exceptionally well, so I won’t fault her here. I should have known when a C-list cast like Thomas Jane and the girl who wants to be Amy Smart are your main stars, backed by Harden, that there was something not right but I didn’t see the signs.

I won’t waste any more time on this, other than to say, do not see this movie if you’re a fan of the story, and do not see this movie if you’re not. Just don’t see it. Go see Enchanted or August Rush or Rush Hour 3 instead. And allow me one last nitpick:

SPOILER

So early in the movie, a kid gets eaten by a crazy tentacled beast, and someone wonders “what are those tentacles attached to?”. At the end, you find out, and it’s this huge 40-story creature. Again, a nitpick, but what the fuck is a 40-story creature rooting around behind a supermarket just to eat one lousy kid? That’d be like me chasing down one ant, eating it and then feeling full and leaving everyone alone. Stupid shit.

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No Responses to “The Pissed”

  1. cybergosh says:

    Becuase you only have to fear what you take inside with you, Eros.  You only have to fear what you take inside.

  2. Eros Welker says:

    Where are Bergviews?  I know you saw Enchanted already (did you see this? and I going to hate you because you think it’s a masterpiece?).

  3. mdhuff says:

    The Mist was Spencer’s movie. He’d been planning to make this film for the last 20 years, so when I go see it, I’m not going to like it anyway because it was SPENCER’S MOVIE.  Anyway, yeah, Dara-bot has become a robot of boring stories.  Shawshank is sooooo good, I guess he just got all the good stuff out with the first movie.  Nothing’s left.  And anyway, why release a scarey movie during the holidays?  Why was this not released 4 weeks ago for Halloween?  What the frack is wrong with these people?

  4. cybergosh says:

    I liked The Mist more than The Green Mile.  Is that wrong? 

    The only person who can answer that question is the guy who knows the reason they released Halloween in August.

    Oh, and – Darbont is the man responsable for us getting Marion back on May 22.  So he should be praised if for no other reason than that!

  5. Eros Welker says:

    Ah, it’s my own fault.  I was thinking about this last night, and this is probably a faithful adaptation.  I just A) would have done some things differently in the interests of making a movie versus following a short story, and B) made it actually good instead of boring and lackluster.  Darabont needed to be on coke or some other heartracer for some of these scenes, and also, the FX weren’t very good.  I almost wish you never saw anything, because when you do, it’s a bit of a letdown.

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