Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN

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I had to see Halloween (the re-imagining) on opening night at a sold-out show at Union Square…..


This was supposed to be a night of fun movie-going.  The audience was supposed to be scared, girls grabbing their boys, the crowd jumping and screaming… instead the sold-out audience sat there …kinda disturbed by what they were watching…  because Zombie’s film is nothing but kill after kill… no suspense, no dramatic build-up what so ever.  I was able to appreciate the film because of the fantastic cinematography by Phil Parmet (Devil’s Rejects) and the biggest line-up of cult actors ever compiled for one film.  But that doesn’t a good film make.

Rob Zombie is coming from the right place.  He’s a fan of the right stuff to be inspired by.  But there is a problem… he can’t write.  He can direct but HE CAN’T WRITE!!!!! Like “Devil’s Rejects” and “House of 1000 Corpses,” “Halloween” fails because it isn’t smart.

There are so many problems with this film… I can’t go in to them all.  But I want to dwell on probably the most important.  Michael Myers, according to Loomis in the original, is evil incarnate.  It really had nothing to do with his upbringing or external forces shaping him in to this madman.  He was born this way.  And that is what made the film terrifying.  Zombie takes half the film to show this kid’s god awful upbringing with every cliche thrown in there….  abusive step-father, stripper mom (Sherri Moon finally doing some decent acting), bullies at school, etc, etc.  We ‘re not making the Dahmer story here… we’re making the Michael Myers story, Rob!!!  Carpenter’s classic was actually quite simplistic.  The back-story in the new film strips the story of that almost super-natural unstoppable evil and instead makes Micheal a sympathetic character… BAD MOVE!!!!!

And what was supposed to be the ultimate date film, is now DEFINITELY NOT A DATE FILM… your girl will be disturbed by its almost mean-spirited violence devoid of scares…. a major turn-off.  See this film for the cinematography and cameos. At least there is alot of nudity… the girls on the right and left show alot….

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Oh shit….I just realized something…. that’s Danielle harris on the left….little girl from the Halloween 4 & 5… nude on screen for approx. 5 minutes… god I’m immature

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No Responses to “Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN”

  1. Cybergosh says:

    Yeah, I’m a whole new person, I’m finally able to stay away from movies i dont want to see even though theres a huge curiosity factor – so thanks for confirming what i suspected is true.  I’m just kinda pretending this doesn’t exist.  Although it’s cool he got the little girl from the original to go nake.

  2. Cybergosh says:

    I mean the little girl from 4 and 5.  Wow- that’s awesome!

  3. Bake Snaker says:

    Yeah… She’s showing boobage for at least five minutes… it’s great…. however the more I think about it… the more i see this as AN UTTER FAILURE ON ALL LEVELS!!! Zombie should be embarrassed.

  4. Fat Ass says:

    Actually, I kinda liked it. I thought the first act, with the kid, was dark and disturbing and really created another level for the rest of the film. Once it got into nearly shot-for-shot remake mode, it was way too rushed and definitely lacked the suspense of the original. But the ending was interesting and freaky, if not terribly well devised.

    I’m a huge fan of the series– the early films, anyway, and I enjoyed this one.

    Sorry.

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