Harry Potter 5 review… a bit late

Saw the film last night and I think you guys are crazy. Or, at the very least, you’ve never tried to write complicated action scenes with a lot of characters…? Because this movie failed at that endeavor quite miserably.

Blah blah blah the movie was rushed, stupid and disappointing. If you wanna hear more on that subject…

First of all, it was incomprehensible if you haven’t read the book. And if you had, major story points, like the whole origin of Snape, were left out. Guess the movies aren’t even going to bother leaving you questioning whether or not Snape is a bad guy.

And then the whole final battle? The high-budj equivalent of the kung fu movies where 20 bad guys surround the hero and then attack one at a time. Characters appeared and disappeared with no other motivation apparently then whether they were on the call sheet for that particular shot. And once again, Harry is saved by someone else at the end. He even says in the movie that he only gets by with luck and help.

Umbridge follows the kids into the forest by herself??? And then they ditch her, run back and the other kids have gotten away from THE ENTIRE SLYTHERIN CLASS AND FOUR OTHER TEACHERS offscreen? Casually??

Hermione is worse than ever, acting with her eyebrows and constantly four emotional notches above everyone else in the scene. Rupert Grint, who has managed to develop no screen presence whatsoever, looks like freaking Robert De Niro next to her because he can manage even the slightest degree of subtelty. Dan Radcliffe is coming along really well, but this movie sells him woefully short.

Booo. The only movie worse than this one was 2. And STILL I think the only truly good one was 3.

Looking forward to the book.


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No Responses to “Harry Potter 5 review… a bit late”

  1. Eros Welker says:

    Not that I’m going to go point by point, as there’s no way talking you down this Radcliffe, but did you read the 5th book?  I’m pretty sure Umbridge does exactly that and goes into the woods alone, so that’s more J.K. Rowling than Warner Bros.  As for Snape, would have loved to see more of Harry’s father being a dick, but I kinda thought the few seconds we saw told that story pretty well.  My girlfriend hasn’t read any of the books (except maybe the first one or two, can’t remember) and she was able to follow and enjoy the movies without a problem.

    I really thought that final battle when the wizzes warped in was great; the scene with just the kids beforehand felt a little weak compared to my fleeting memories of the book though.  I chalked that whirlwind style of the battle up to director’s vision (a chaotic battle) and not a flawed endeavor (a chaotic to-look-at scene: to me, that was Transformers), and it gave me chills, not gripes.  I also teared up when Dumbledore told Harry that, and I’m paraphrasing, it’s not what makes him and Voldemore alike but what makes them different.  I thought that was beautiful. 

    My only real complaints with Phoenix are: it’s not too long (as I’d watch 12 hours) but has some scenes that could have been tighter/better, and if you’ve read the book, you’re letdown a little because you don’t see things you want to (an entire hallway turned into a swamp, for example).

    Perhaps someday we’ll all agree on something, and I foresee that movie being SKINWALKERS.

  2. Roger says:


  3. Cybergosh says:

    This is why i can’t visit this site anymore. 

    Something like this gets posted…or and i get too stressed out.  I know i shouldn’t – but, i just do. 

    I’m really fear if i continue with my regular daily fix of EG, at least for the time being, then i’m gonna get my ajeda(sp?) back.  We can’t have that.  But i could feel it coming.  And i didn’t even read this whole thing.  Stopped after the first few paragraphs.  I just…i just don’t understand sometimes…but oh well, what can you do.  Or at least that’s what i’m supposed to say…i think?

    i strongly feel opposite on all points made here.

    Saw it for the third time last night…just gets better and better…even more chills… and i now wish to upgrade this as TIED with Year 3 as my fave. 





  4. Cybergosh says:

    I’m such an emotional little commenter.  Just tell me to shut up.  I’m going insane I think.  Nothing really matters.  It’s cool if you didn’t like it ya didn’t like it as long as it’s cool with you that i love it beyond belief.  I do think i am unraveling at the core, though.  So little things like someone not liking this or another person liking something that i think was complete and utter shit..or just even a fella not seeing something in IMAX when they live close to an IMAX…it all sets me off… which is undoubtedly why i’m sure to die alone.  And, furthermore, i’m not nearly as concerned with that as i am with the fact that that’s perfectly okay with me, and always has been.

    Anyway, time for my daily scream into pillows.  Which one tonight?  Corpse Bride last…i’ll scream into Mater i think.  No – no…yes.  Mater tonight.

  5. Cybergosh says:

    And one last thing – Roger – surly you realize this is a highly sensitive time..i can’t even leave my house or go online or watch tv for the next few days until i get through year 7.  I didn’t click the link..but please, if anyone wants to post anything about potter..or an anonymous link..please preface with a spoiler or non-spolier type warning so us blokes know it’s ok.  Cool?  Cool.  Everything is cool.  Ok.

    And with that,

    i take my leave

    for a bit.

  6. Eros Welker says:

    I just don’t know why you take it so personally. 

    The whole point of EG was so that we could share news, opinions or what we’re doing with each other (good or bad).  I certainly don’t want to be told I’m an asshole because I love Days of Thunder, just as I would never think any one here is one because they like something I don’t. 

    The conversations that flow afterwards are a little attempt at connecting us because, unfortunately, we all can’t hang out in a diner all day yelling playfully at each other about these things anymore.

    If it’s going to make you sick or make you want to kill people, then maybe you should fly away.  I’d suggest whenever you see something that gets you steamed, that you hit this URL:


    That should even you out.

  7. Fat Ass says:

    Geez, dude, it was certainly not my intention to hurt you in any way. I was just tossing out my opinion for it to get grinded up. I don’t mind one little bit that you, or Eros or anybody disagrees with me. It doesn’t make me think any less of you or like you any less (even though you’re WRONG!!!). And I hope it wouldn’t make you like me any less or think any less of me (even though I’m RIGHT!!!). Truth is, we both have pretty valid points.

    Eros, you’re right about those… issues… being in the book, and, hold onto your seats, I think the books have a lot, lot, lot of pisspoor storytelling in them. They’re wildly imaginitive, with fantastic characters and a brilliant, charming world. But the plotting is often a mess, with “Scooby Doo” endings and random conveniences. Book 2 was the most egregious, but I also remember being tremendously disappointed with Book 5 after the relatively brilliant Book 4. And so I’m not surprised, I suppose, that I was frustrated with the movie as well.


    All this having been said, Cybergosh… I know you’re not exactly asking me for advice here and the last thing I want to do is come across as preachy, but I really strongly recommend that you reconsider putting any weight in the opinions of others. Letting other people’s opinions affect your own, and especially letting them affect your happiness, is extremely self-destructive. Simply because it gives people too much power over you.

    Never, ever give people power over you. Ever, dude. Maybe pick one or two people in life and give them a little say, but don’t give outsiders power over your happiness. It never ends well.

    I’d hate to see you leave EG, partially because I’d miss your company but also because I’d hate to see you have to retreat from the ongoing debate. Maybe I voice my opinions harshly, and I certainly do because I like to debate vigorously, but it’s not intended for anyone to be offended. That being said, even if I were trying to hurt you, it’d be in your better interest to evolve to the point where you won’t let me. Because all of that power is within you.

    I write screenplays and teleplays and comic books for a living (what meager living I can eek out while buying toys for Robot Chicken and waiting for the big break), and even the ones I manage to sell get passed on my hundreds of people. All of our heroes have had critical failures and naysayers to overcome on their path to progress. If they had taken no for an answer, we’d never have our favorite films. Gale Anne Hurd told me personally that one of the producers on the Terminator almost shut down the film because there weren’t enough aliens. You read that right, and I typed that right. We’ve all heard about all the passing on E.T. and Star Wars.

    There are always going to be people out there who disagree. Clearly, the world loves Harry Potter, and you’re in the majority. Hell, for what it’s worth and totally beside the point, *I* actually love Harry Potter. So you’re in the majority. But you have to find your Rocky moment and develop the courage to step outside the majority, to fight for what you believe in, or else you’ll always end up running. And if you have to run from friends, imagine what your enemies will do to you.

    Eye of the Tiger, brother, Eye of the Tiger. This is coming from someone who has great affection for you, who feels a kinship with you. It’s coming completely out of concern.

    Hee hee…






  8. Cybergosh says:

    Alathal sent me that lotr clip a long time ago and it really annoyed me.  it pisses over a magical moment..and now, everytime i watch it, instead of the normal emotions i’d feel i’m gonna be thinking of this uninspired shit.  great.

    but thanks for trying (sincerely).

    and –

    i could never be angry at the fat ass…after all, anyone who likes howard the duck is forever awesome.

    i’m not “taking it personally” nor am i “giving people power” – i’m just the way i am – hopefully someday i’ll change. 

    but i must disable my comment notifications for now…


  9. Junktape says:


    just got caught up with all this.  That’s EG for you.  Passion.  Drama.  The power of friendship and the darkness of obsession all rolled up into one thread.  Jesus christ I hope Eric compiles all this into some kind of book on counterculture.

  10. Fat Ass says:

    Can I be credited as the brute who crushed everyone’s dreams??