The Best and Worst Movies of 2006

Inspired by Cybergosh’s re-imagining of the dot/no dot list, I figured I’d offer up some flicks (that I’ve seen) and what rocked or not for me. The Best and Worst Movies of 2006 begins… now.

Just to cut to the chase, overall, the BEST movie of the year was…

Superman Returns

I decided to take a page from Cybergosh’s list, so this may look familiar.

Best movie of the year: Superman Returns

Best movie experience of the year: Snakes on a Plane
Runner-up: FEAST. Though only caught this on DVD, wish I saw in the theater.

Best comedy of the year: Borat
Runner-up: Accepted. – I love Justin Long, he’s hilarious.

Best re-imagining of the year: The Departed (could have done with out the hard Irish rock though)
Runner-up: Casino Royale (and I LOVED a lot of this movie, I may need to digest the last 3rd again)

Best horror movie of the year: The Descent. I loved this half of because of what it was, and half because of the way it was shot/put together. I saw the original UK version, not the US one with the ending that ran in theaters that succccked
Runner-up: Hostel. I really loved this movie, I’m an Eli Roth fan, I suppose. It’s got hot chicks and boobs, grotesque torture scenes and there’s elements of comedy to boot. The teaser for 2 is great.
Second Runner-up: Final Destination 3. I’m a big fan of Mousetrap so I’ll always love these movies.

Best Video game adaptation of the year: Silent Hill. Totally faithful (with music cues from the game!), fuckin’ creepy and I have a thang for Radha Mitchell. Loved this flick, except the witchy-poo stuff near the end is a little odd.

Best movie I thought I was going to hate: M:i:III

Best movie everyone else hates: Lady in the Water

Worst movie of the year: X-Men: The Last Stand. Not because it’s a terrible movie, but because it took a franchise that I thought was wonderful, and turned it into shit with incompetence. “I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch!” ??? FUCK you Ratner. I hope you get a social disease.
Runner-up: Click. How does this premise get botched? Worth seeing for a complete tonal shift with Adam Sandler, as a old man, running through the rain, crying out after his son, while the music swells. What the fuck am I watching?!!

Worst comedy of the year: Nacho Libre. Is it for kids? is for JB fans? is it for Napoleon Dynamite lovers? none of the above, it’s for people that eat doodoo)

Worst disaster movie of the year: Poseidon. How could they fuck this up? the original is fantastic, the premise is wonderful, the cast is pretty damn good… poor Wolfgang…

Most disappointing CG movie of the year: TIE – Monster House (how boring) and Cars (how predictable, and FUCK Larry the Cable Guy)

Worst ghost movie of the year: An American Haunting.
Runner-up: Pulse (was that 2006?). It’s not THAT bad, but the stakes are raised too high and it throws off the film. Plus, the look of the film grows tiresome. I’d lick Veronica Mars any day of the week.

Worst movie everyone else loves: The Da Vinci Code. It’s like watching Amelie for six hours. Awful, awful movie. Ron Howard will you please make at least ONE great movie before you die?
Runner-up: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (though, it’s not a bad movie, it’s just a little too long and acts as a filler episode. But there’s some great things about it).

Worst re-imagining of the year: The Hills Have Eyes. I fucking hated this movie, from the fact that I hate ALL of the characters so I actually enjoyed them getting mutilated, raped, burned, etc. Why? Because NONE OF THEM act like normal people. What do you do when you have a gun? Do you aim and shoot or do you chase someone? What do you do when you magically see a cross on fire with your father on it? Do you stand around doing nothing, do you not realize that he didn’t do this to himself? FUCK FUCK FUCK I hated this movie, and there’s a sequel coming… FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
Runner-up: Miami Vice. The film isn’t that bad, except for a stretch in the middle with the not-so-attractive Gong Li (Burnt, know what I’m talking about?), but why it’s called Miami Vice and stars these characters that have no real personality or that you don’t attach yourselves too, I just dunno.

Movies that were alright, I liked, or otherwise, glad I saw but indifferent to:
V for Vendetta (I may need to see this again to see if I enjoy it as much as I think I do)
Inside Man
Hard Candy (not enough old man on young girl action)
16 Blocks (Mos Def = most annoying man on the planet)
The Lake House
Eight Below (My father’s #1 Movie of the Year. Weird.)
Underworld: Evolution

Movies I started to watch and found better things to do with my time. That doesn’t necessarily mean they suck, I just didn’t care for it:
Lucky Number Slevin

And to follow Cybergosh’s lead, my top 10 of 2007:

1. Transformers. Giant robots fighting one another? Even if Bay fucks it up, that’s enough for me.

2. Spider-Man 3. Probably the movie I’m most expecting to be good… we’ll see how that works for me.

3. His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass?). New Line’s first in a trilogy of what I’ve been told are more adult Harry Potter-esque books that r0x0rz. Comes in November, I hope it’s excellent.

4. I Am Legend. I dig the Smith and have him fighting “vampires” and I’m so there.

5. Grindhouse. This will either be an amazing testament to “bad” movies or a bad movie itself.

6. Harry Potter and the Something of Something. The first HP I haven’t read first, wonder if I will before the film?, but everything is about to change, and here’s the first in its wake.

7. Shrek 3. I know I know… but I really surprisingly enjoyed the previous 2.

8. Live Free or Die Hard. I just don’t know, but it’s Die Hard so I’m there.

9. 300. Yes, there’s a lot of fucking slo mo, and yes, there’s a lot of “Sparta this” and “Sparta that” in the trailer, but it looks too fucking cool to be missed.

10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You can have your Simpsons movie and Ratatatatattoooeeee… I just want me some heroes in a half-shell.

Runner-up but mostly for DVD: Black Snake Moan. Just cause I wanna see hot Ricci in chains.

Movie I couldn’t wish death upon more: Ocean’s 13. How could you Cybergosh? After that fucking abomination of Ocean’s 12??
Runner-up: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Oh I hate you Fantastic Four…

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4 Responses to “The Best and Worst Movies of 2006”

  1. Cybergosh says:

    I am surpsrised how much we are in aggrement this year, Eros!  The only major debates seem to be with Cars and Monster House.  On the Ocean’s 13 front…i am excited because I love Eleven…and this time we’re back in Vegas, we have Pacino and DON’T have Julia.  So not only does it feel like a direct sequel to the first go around, but it may be the best of the three!

  2. Eros Welker says:

    I’d be willing to concede Monster House, but I can’t for the life of me understand why you think Cars is so great.  This is easily the worst flick Pixar has ever produced, and I thought A Bug’s Life was merely okay.

    You love Larry, don’t you?

  3. Cybergosh says:

    It’s fine if that’s what you think…but you do realize that the label of “worst film Pixar has ever produced” is still about the equivalent of “one of the best movie’s ever produced.”

    And yes!

  4. junktape says:

    Monster House was my favorite CGI of the year by far, for it’s tone and character.  Great motion cap performances and very funny/scary.  They just don’t make kids movies this good anymore.  Can’t begin to imagine what could have been boring about it, but to each our own.  Just watched it for the third time over Xmas vacation…

    I agree with Berg that a bad pixar movie is like a bad french fry.  You still can’t get enuff.  And I thought Cars, especially on the big screen, was still a great movie.  Yes, it’s plot was the first of the Pixar crop to feel derivative (Doc Hollywood being the first of this formula that comes to mind) and yet I still thought it had fun and imagination.  Thumbs way up.

    I might be the only person who enjoyed the Prestige.  Maybe I just like saying it over and over with a Michael Caine accent. 

    Superman Returns really didn’t do it for me.  Tried watching it again on DVD and talk about boring… The entire last 40 minutes is a snooze.  How long does it take a boat to sink, anyway?

    I loved it in the theatre for the Donner vibe and I totally look forward to the sequel, but I think this was a major misfire.  X-Men 3 gets the same treatment.  I watched it again from beginning to end and liked it a little bit more, at least there is a lot going on, but it was hardly the right cap to the series.  All my complaints hold firm for this one.

    My favorite movie of the year? 

    Probably Stranger Than Fiction

    Runner up:  V For Vendetta

    (I didn’t see Borat.  I also mostly just watched television and played video games this year.  So if the movie industry crumbles, it’s partially my fault.  Sorry.)