X-Men 3: The Last Stand

This review will have mild spoilers, and I will be posting major spoilers in the comments. Consider yourself warned.

Going into this movie, I admit, I was concerned. The 52% Tomatometer rating made me wonder if Brett Ratner had wrecked what Bryan Singer had established with the first two films. There are rough spots, mainly some clunky dialogue, but overall, it’s pretty damn good. This is the X-Men film that you were waiting for.


For those of you who never read the comics and liked the movies, you will like it. The characters are consistent with how they’ve been portrayed in the previous two movies, and the movie does not skimp on doing radical things with them. Some of the characters are changed permanently by the events of the movie. A few of them die. And through it all, there’s a real sense of finality to this chapter, as well as many interesting possibilities for future installments.

For those of you who are long-time X-geeks, you will still like it. You have to accept that certain things are going to be glossed over or changed, though. The Juggernaut is a mutant, and there’s apparently no connection between him and Xavier. There is no explanation given for the Beast’s blue fur. Callisto is in there, but there are no Morlocks mentioned. The Phoenix isn’t an alien force, instead it’s something else that actually makes more sense.

I have nitpicks, but they are minor. I was hopeful when I heard Hallie Berry didn’t want to return this time, but instead she got an expanded role which just showcases her bland portrayal of what was a standout character in the comics. Also, apparently you need to be a teenage or twentysomething with facial tattoos and punkish hair to join Magneto’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. You’re telling me that there aren’t disgruntled clean-cut older mutants out there who would join up with him?

And there was no Sabertooth. Every movie needs more Sabertooth. Don’t let that stop you, though, go see this.

– Roger

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12 Responses to “X-Men 3: The Last Stand”

  1. Roger says:

    Cool stuff: The “Days of Future Past” simulation in the Danger Room. Killing Cylops, yay! I said “thank you” to the screen when they showed his tombstone. Digital face-lifts for Xavier and Magneto.

    Dumb stuff: Beast’s “Oh, my stars and garters,” a reference to the comics, delivered at exactly the wrong time. R. Lee Ermey stuck in as a voice-over. At least give him some screen time! Not enough Colossus.

    About Xavier’s rebirth, do you think this was a disaster plan that he and Moira already set up? Putting that bit after the credits was a great tease. Praise be to Eros for letting us know. However, continuing what they were hinting at with Magneto, maybe this could have worked: Rogue and Iceman are in bed, and Rogue unexpectedly spits out an ice cube.

    (This is why I don’t write movies.)

  2. junktape says:

    Gotta say, I was a huge fan of the first two films.  Came with little to no knowledge of the comics but loved the style of these films and the intelligence of the scripts.  The first film clearly blazed a trail for grounded comic book features such as “Spiderman” and the glorious “Batman Begins.” But I thought this film REALLY dropped the ball.  I was beyond disappointed at the fast food line deliveries, the lack of character development (HOW DO YOU MAKE THE PHOENIX BORING??????) and the overall feeling of a TV movie with A-list effects.

    Full review to come, but it was a big thumbs-down for me.  And while I do enjoy mutant-on-mutant battles, stunts and effects do not float my boat without a story I care about.  Not gonna say it wasn’t fun but when the biggest movie of the summer’s biggest innovention is a Holodeck, you know you’re in trouble….

  3. junktape says:

    Gotta say, I was a huge fan of the first two films.  Came with little to no knowledge of the comics but loved the style of these films and the intelligence of the scripts.  The first film clearly blazed a trail for grounded comic book features such as “Spiderman” and the glorious “Batman Begins.” But I thought this film REALLY dropped the ball.  I was beyond disappointed at the fast food line deliveries, the lack of character development (HOW DO YOU MAKE THE PHOENIX BORING??????) and the overall feeling of a TV movie with A-list effects.

    Full review to come, but it was a big thumbs-down for me.  And while I do enjoy mutant-on-mutant battles, stunts and effects do not float my boat without a story I care about.  Not gonna say it wasn’t fun but when the biggest movie of the summer’s biggest innovention is a Holodeck, you know you’re in trouble….

  4. Roger says:

    I agree that the downsides you mentioned were definitely there, but they weren’t major enough for me to discount the good stuff.

    The “holodeck” Danger Room has been a staple of the X-Men books for at least 20 years now. I’m pretty sure that’s where the Star Trek writers got the idea from.

  5. Roger says:

    One more thing: I really liked how the chain of disastrous events is kicked off by Wolverine. The conflict between him and Xavier is completely in line with his character – he’s had his head screwed with so many times as a result of the Weapon X program, the idea of someone else having that done to them is abhorrent to him.

  6. Cybergosh says:

    I liked 1 & Loved 2.  3 was not worse than i expected, but it was every bit as irritating as i feared.  Ratner is the true mutation here.  I never thought McKellen could be boring.  Yowzers.

    Ex-franchise.

  7. Eros Welker says:

    Just got back so allow me to nitpick:

    I hate Brett Ratner.  I didn’t hate this movie, but I thought it was way below par.  The nits:

    — Angel.  Glad he was onboard just long enough to save his dad, and not do much else.

    — Leech.  Why not just throw him “Fastball Special”-style at Phoenix?

    — The tranny mutants.  Go away.

    — The bad one-liners.  And I thought “What happens to a frog when it’s hit by lightning” was the end of it all.

    — Magneto’s master plan: Of storming Alcatraz by moving an entire bridge, just to kill one little boy.  Brilliant!

    — Again, little Russell sad that he couldn’t get into Claire’s pants and be a famous artist shows up again to save the day with a “I heard this is a safe place for mutants”.  Maybe he is an angel?

    — How can Ratner, the alleged party animal and womanizer, take over the reins from Bryan “Boy Magneto” Singer, and make it more gay? 

    — Twenty years ago… yeah right, did Famke protest “I must be portrayed as late twenties, early thirties!!!” – She’s looking worse off than “present-day” Magneto

    — Ten years ago… um, why did we need this story set-up?

    — And finally, since when was the Danger Room just a simulation?  I’m not a comic fan so don’t consider this a true nitpick, but I always envisioned it as an actual mechanical, albeit amazingly sophisticated, contraption.  Glad it wasn’t a true Sentinel though – though I thought that coulda been neat.

    All in all, pretty disappointed with this one.  But I’d rather have 100 Kelsey Grammar Beasts than one, just one, Sexy Beast.

  8. Roger says:

    I think the Danger Room had holographic technology as far back as the late 70s when the comic was relaunched.

    In the comics, Trask (Bill Duke’s character) is the guy who builds the Sentinels, so maybe they’re setting that up for a future movie.

    It looks like the movie made enough money this weekend that we may see both proposed spinoffs made (the Magneto and Wolverine movies).

  9. Cybergosh says:

    “How can Ratner, the alleged party animal and womanizer, take over the reins from Bryan “Boy Magneto” Singer, and make it more gay? “

    The best point you’ve ever made, Eros.

    I agree.

    I did not hate it after i saw it, but, the more i think back about this film, the more i do hate it.  Even things i thought were the “good parts” are now appearing more and more sloppy in my mind. 

    Case in point…when Xavier “dies”…how can this pivitol moment be SO un-involving..so non-moving? 

    Also – i had no idea what “dark pheonix” would be like…other than part good and part bad…but dudes…seriously…she just basically stands around the whole time.  The only scene with her that interested me was her moment with wolverine pleading for him to kill her.  cool stuff.  on paper.  not on the screen.  i say one of the greater fuck up’s of all time with this one.

  10. Cybergosh says:

    120.1 in the 4 day?!  Cocks on the wall and fuck me slanted.

  11. Cybergosh says:

    I still cannot believe it made that much.  85, yes.  95 even.  But 120…this is not cool.  This tells a studio that it is OK to rush a film into production without a solid script.  This tells a studio it is OK to work with Ratner.  This tells a studio that they actually know what they’re doing.  This is NOT good.

    Let’s try and think of all the major part III’3 that veered their franchises off track…

    X3.  T3.  Superman 3.  Alien 3.

  12. junktape says:

    Posted my own review, with a few major opinions – it rambles, but you’ll get the gist.  Scroll to the bottom and I vent on some of the third sequels that Cybergosh mentioned…

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